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BEST OF | 2012 >>
Confessions of a Mixtape Nothing
By Jonathan Majak
If LAX Confessions, the Facebook page and Twitter account sweeping the Tri-State area, has taught us here at the Mixtape anything, it’s that there is more freaky sexual acts being committed on the UW-L campus than at a My Little Ponies Bronies convention.
Following a nationwide trend, LAX Confessions is the place on the Internet where college students can own up to all of their gloriously awful bad life decisions they make between cramming for exams. We adore it if only for the fact that the people confessing to having sex in bushes or smoking up with their professors will one day be the PTAs across this nation. In honor of this trend, we’ve put together this Mixtape we’re dubbing “Confessions of a Mixtape Nothing.”
We kick off this Mixtape with Phoenix and their tune “Entertainment” from their upcoming album “Bankrupt” seeing as how scrolling through LAX Confessions has given us hours and hours of entertainment. We’re like 95 percent sure at this point that there isn’t a surface on the UW-L campus that a student hasn’t peed, crapped, puked or had sex on, so at least the undergraduates are providing job security for people in charge of the janitorial services. We will say that in between all of the sex and Southern Comfort, there have been lovely posts in regards to people wanting to come out and people giving kind words of encouragement, so there is like 2 percent redeeming value to the whole thing.
Not everybody is terribly thrilled with the LAX Confessions page, which leads us to our next song “Blow My Mind” by The Suburbanites, as the concept of people confessing to all types of less-than-lovely behavior is blowing a lot of people’s minds. UW-L Chancellor Joe Gow sent out emails to the campus expressing his disappointment in the page, especially after photos of a passed out girl were posted at the then-titled UWL Confessions page. It also doesn’t help that high school versions of these type of confessions pages are springing up, too, because, you know, social media and adolescents are such a great combination together.
What does all of these Confessions pages mean in the grand scheme of things? We end this Mixtape with The Strokes’ “All the Time” because there will always be ways for people to make asses out of themselves; Twitter and Facebook just let more people know about it. And since shame pretty much died around the time of the first AOL Instant Message, we’re sure this trend isn’t going to die. We’re pretty sure in 10 years from now, most of the presidential campaigns will consist of people denying that they posted about masturbating in the Murphy Library. And frankly, we can’t wait for that.
Love the Mixtape? Like it? Moderately tolerate it? That’s good enough for us! Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and check out the weekly, uncensored version of the Majak Mixtape at www.majakmixtape.blogspot.com.
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THE TOP 7 >>
Rejected Best of La Crosse Categories
1. Electronic billboard
2. Middle school football team
3. Rail liquor selection
4. Parking ramp
5. Internet troll
6. Graffiti artist
7. Kwik Trip
1. Pete Best
2. Milwaukee's Best
3. "Best in Show"
4. Best Western
5. Best Coast
6. Best Buy
7. 'My Best Friend's Girl"
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What is your beverage of choice: I just love an ice cold water, or a chocolate malt. NOT A SHAKE.
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